SLAVE TO ADDICTION

Article by Kalenga Njolomba

Addictions? A fight many want to win! Addictions? A war that may never seem to end. Addictions? At first it seems fun but later you become a fool to it, it becomes a master of your soul, body and spirit, when it starts it feels like it will be a happy place and gives you a feeling that makes you feel on top of the world, but when it starts to eat your soul from the inside out your world changes, things seem to get only darker and life seems to get blurry bit by bit.

Yes I was once a victim to it, I thought I would start and stop whenever I wanted. Its funny how we think sometimes we can control our life with some of these negative energies yet they are the ones that get in control of a life that doesn’t even belong to it. i struggled with the same addiction for two years, never had i felt so dead inside. I tried to reach out to people but it was hard to even share because I would always see people judging me even before I could share with them, so I kept it inside and tried to hide my pain. The worst part is because I am a Christian, people holding high expectations for me, thinking i was perfect and holy yet I was fighting one of the biggest battles of life. My mental health was highly affected. I always had moods and always wanted to be alone. I became very rude to most people around me and being a jovial people person, this was a shock to most of my friends. maybe they did know that something was wrong with me because of how my behavior changed from being a people person to being someone even I didn’t know myself.

It also affected the way I viewed people and the relationships I had with some of the people around me. To me everyone was related to my addiction. I never knew how much this addiction could affect me or how much it affected me until I realized how much I had changed, how much anger I carried inside of me, how much rage I wanted to take out on other people and how much I saw everyone as a threat to my life. I was always irritated by everyone; especially Christians, I looked at them with so much hate that I didn’t even understand myself. I realized how much my mental health was affected and I had to reach out to someone, I just had to speak out and talk to someone about what I was going through, looking back I didn’t realize till now that being in that state was the most depressing state I had ever been in, because my entire world changed in just a short period of time and I didn’t even notice it.

Sometimes we need to understand that life isn’t all about what people think about you, because the moment you do that you start to die from the inside. Instead let’s be free of ourselves and that was my first step of healing and growing out of that addition, I realized I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, I realized I don’t have to show anyone that I am perfect or I am not struggling because I am a Christian, but to understand that I am human and that I too will go through things. Tim Keller once said “The gospel is this: you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope." Yes we will be taught how perfect we are in Gods eyes, and yes some may say they have never sinned before, and maybe that’s true, who am I to judge? But what we should understand is that we are human and our flesh is bound to fall sometimes, even the Bible says a “righteous may fall 7 times” but key point is this, that we rise back up! Never stay in what has just come to you! Grow out of it!

We don’t just come out of the addictions, we need to grow out of it. Success lies not in eliminating our troubles and mistakes but in growing through and with them,” – John C Maxwell. This passage doesn’t mean you stay with them as you grow. It means you build a life far above them, Trying to stop an addiction is hard. You don’t just stop by saying you want to stop. It takes time and consistency because it may take longer than expected to stop and overcome an addiction. Some of the people I have been talking to over the same have experienced, or have had friends who have been addicted for over 5years; others 20 years and others, almost their entire lives. But this doesn’t mean that an addiction cannot be stopped, it all depends on what you will do now that you are addicted.

Stopping an addiction starts by you avoiding triggers. “The mind is a powerful place and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way” Nathan John Feuerstein (NF).

The more you feed yourself with things that trigger you, the more the addiction gets stronger. Whatever triggers you to go back to the addiction must definitely be avoided, which of course means changing your life style entirely. When you are always found in places that will trigger you to go back to addictions, they will not stop. If your friends trigger you to go back to drugs, then you have to let go of your friends; if your phone triggers you to watch pornographic materials`, it doesn’t hurt to pack your phone for some time till you can finally control yourself. Avoid all things that trigger you at all cost!.

Addictions are also as strong as our confessions “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Your confession really matters a lot. The more you think you will always be addicted you begin to accept the existence of the addiction as a part of who you are, but the truth is you were not born addicted. You have to change how you think towards the addiction and start thinking of it as an obstacle blocking your blessings, your relationship with God and your personal growth. When you think about the addiction, show it you don’t need it and that it is not a part of you. Try to also think of an addiction as being a black spot in a white room and notice how it makes the room dirty. Eventually you will have to clean it or get rid of it. Do not allow yourself to be overtaken by it. You are the master of you and you can control yourself; you are stronger than it and it has no power over you.

In a nutshell, addictions end, you can win, if I won then you can too, never feel you are alone, there are millions going through the same. We all have to fight and win this war at the end of the day we are the masters of ourselves!