LIVING WITH DEPRESSION IN ZAMBIA (A SURVEY)

“opening up seems like I am looking for attention or clout”, a common response among all five people I talked to about this very delicate topic. One thing you will hear everywhere regarding depression or any mental health related matter is “open up”, “get help”, “talk to someone”. What is actually shocking is that 90% of everyone dealing with depression has talked to at least two people about it. On the first few days of opening up, the response is usually good. The person dealing with the depression will feel better too. “my sister checked on me every day for about two weeks and I was doing really well”, said one of the people I talked to. This attention and care usually fades off because the melancholy (patient) seems fine. “after two months I felt depressed again and I couldn’t tell my friend again because we had already moved passed it”, said another person. Basically opening up a second time is not easy because it looks like a ploy for attention.

One of the questions I have had to ask myself many times and answer too is “does it really end? I got one common answer from my five. Simple clear NO. what causes depression is a variety of reasons, this could be loss, insecurity, stress from everyday life and many other reasons. And how can it end when they will always be loss, they will always be insecurity and they will always be stress from life every day. I guess depression is a pretty normal thing with pretty normal reasons, why isn’t it treated that way. “the longest I have gone without having a depressive episode was two months”, said one person. Actually someone else said they lasted one year without feeling depressed. Another person said one week without having an episode would be a miracle to them. The frequency and severity of depressive episodes alternate from person to person and cannot be compared. For some people it is as simple as feeling sad and sleeping all day and for others it gets as complicated and social withdrawal and suicidal thoughts. One important thing to note is that there is no such thing as “more depressed” or “less depressed”, living with depression, whatever level of severity, is hard.

“I don’t always have to get triggered, I just feel bad sometimes”, said one and another said “I get triggered by the smallest things, one time I slit my wrist because a stranger was rude to me”. A lot of answers came up to answer the question, what triggers you? My conclusion would be, no specific thing triggers depression. For some its literally nothing. One would just sit alone and start thinking about small things like ‘why am I not as dark skinned as my friends’ and just like that, an episode happens. For most, something has to actually and physically happen. For example, loss of a loved one, or loss of a job, sometimes it could be as small as someone passing a rude comment. There is no specific thing, I like to call this everything and nothing.

How does a person living with depression then get out of it? “most times it just stops, which is the worst part because if I don’t know how to get out next time it comes I still can’t do anything except just wait for it to go again”, this response was one of my favorites. Another good response to this question was “people! People I love, people that love me, people get me back to reality”. The first response highlights that depression does not have a cure and it can go as easily as it comes. Response number two lets us know that the most powerful weapon against depression is association.

“I have never been to the hospital, what will I even say when I get there”, I was not shocked by this response, therapy and black people just do not mix, I would like that to change though. Here is a response that did shock me, “I see a therapist as often as I can, I was actually diagnosed with anxiety disorder, I just don’t talk about it because my friends will think I am mad”. Why was I shocked? Well only because finding a person that does therapy in Zambia is just as hard as looking for a needle in a hay stack. Therapy is not a common thing. The other part of the response explains a little further why. “my friends will think I am mad”. The stereotype that surrounds mental health and getting professional help should be added on the list of reasons why people commit suicide.

“I know I will get through this, depression will not win”, this was my favorite part of the survey. Four of the people I talked to were very positive and ready to move from depression. “honestly, I am tired and done fighting too”, said the fifth person. Heart breaking if you ask me. The take back is that living with depression is tiring and hard. The survey was very successful..........