MENTAL HEALTH, ACCOUNTABILITY, THERAPY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

Here’s a million dollar question, Should you see a therapist? Another million dollar question, should you be accountable to anyone? Whatever your response may be to these question, this article is for you....

Your text book definition of therapy highlights it as a dreadful journey of vulnerability and supervision because you don’t trust yourself to take care of yourself. Contrary to the above statement, therapy is accountability. So instead of why see a therapist, lets start with why should you be accountable to someone? Simple, it is necessary.

I have a few friends that are in distance learning mode of study at university and most of them fail to finish assignments, study on time and adequately prepare for exams because there is no accountability. When I just met my mentor, he explained accountability to me like this; a covering. Accountability is your reason to do things even when you don’t feel like it. In full time school, your lecturer will nag you about studying, just his presence will remind you your assignment is due next week and you will get it done. If you’re accountable to someone, you will have to answer to them. Did you start? Did you finish? What progress have you made thus far? You will have to answer. Accountability is a disciplinary act. Accountability is love.

What about self accountability you may ask. That is very important. Self accountability is self love and self love is discipline. Question is, do you love yourself enough to be disciplined? And are you disciplined enough to be accountable to just yourself? Let us bare in mind that whenever you are struggling with your mental health, whatever area it may be, you need all the help you can get. Here is where a therapist comes in. I am aware of all the myths surrounding therapy in the African set up and I hope I can break a few of them here.

When a baby is exposed to a toxic environment, they learn bad manners and habits. When that same baby is taken to school, they are taught how to act and behave, they are taught to forget the very bad manners they had earlier learnt. Let us look at therapy as a school for mental health. Suppose you have been through trauma and that has affected your relationships and how you look at life in general. Sure you want to be better, sure the internet has all the resources for you but I promise you, human to human interaction will serve you better.

So you’re playing tug of war with depression and you want to be better? How do you go about it? Well I’m not sure too. I could tell you all the things that worked for me but the truth is, depression is unique. It is specific to each person and what works for me will not work for you. A therapist knows how to tuckle your specific issue with solutions best for only you. What if those solutions are not the easiest for you to follow through with? Accountability. In therapy you will be taught accountability to both yourself and to your therapist. In simple terms, in therapy you will be ‘taught’. how to love yourself, how to take care of yourself and most importantly, how to be accountable to yourself. Obviously, there is more to therapy than just finding a therapist and starting to learn. In this article I will cover the most relevant of these. Costs, time and completion.

‘Therapy in Zambia is expensive’, wrong! Therapy everywhere is expensive. The number one reason the most people will give as to why they do not invest in their mental health care is they cannot afford it. See I have a very serious problem with that. The ‘if it aint broke don’t fix it’ mindset is why suicide is still one of the leading causes of death in the world. The biggest step to achieving a mentally fit Zambia is acceptance. Once people accept that they need help, once we acknowledge that life alone is overwhelming and you need the extra hand, we will definitely make progress in this area. So what am I saying? I am saying your car needs insurance not because you hope for an accident but because if the accident does happen, you will be prepared for how it will affect you and you will fix it on time. I am saying your car needs servicing not because you have fun visiting your mechanic or you have the extra time and money to spare, but because your car needs maintenance. Look, your mind needs to be insured, your mind needs maintenance and you don’t need an accident to happen before you take the investment. If you are not ready for the financial commitment, I’m proud to say that the youth have come up with quite a number of initiatives that provide free screening and therapy. The list is quite long but I would definitely love to share it with you, let me know in the comments section.

Availability during therapy will always yield results. Like all kinds of accountability setups, whether it is with your parents, whether it is your mentor or your significant other, you must be available. You must be submissive and teachable. Allow yourself to be poured into and always ask questions. Time is priceless and I know giving it will not always be easy. Here is something that might help; write lists, write to do lists, write down schedules, write it all down! When you do finish a task, that will be awesome but when you don’t, you will have your list as reminder to plan better next time. Talk to your therapist too about when is most convenient for both of you and work out a timetable that will be best for the both of you, remember availability is key.

A good friend of mine once asked ,’do I ever get to graduate therapy?’. honestly, I don’t think so. Thing is, they’ll always be something to talk about and you’ll always need help with something. You do not need to be mentally unwell to go to therapy, you do not need to be struggling with depression or anxiety to go to therapy. So even when you feel like you have control over your mental health and you don’t need help, I suggest you still see a therapist because there is never a reason not to see a therapist. instead of being ashamed of seeing a therapist, I think its quite shameful that most people don’t see therapists. Deciding to go to therapy to me means I am intentional about my thoughts, feelings and emotions. It means I am acknowledging the fact that I don’t know it all and I need help, I am a vessel ready to be poured into and I love myself enough invest in development.